Out Takes 2
by CoryphaeusRex
Summary: Another series of out takes from the Left Behind books. Chloe and Buck have tried to tie the knot once before. But it seems like certain forces are trying to stand in their way...May contain nuts, definitely contains slash. A Turathionen and Bubsy collab.
1. Out For IceCream

**Turathionen:** Oh, we couldn't resist, could we? Ever since we wrote Out-Takes, we've been talking about doing another one. It just never seemed possible. To re-create the whole circumstances of its writing was just a task that mortals should not even attempt to undertake. Luckily… ah, I'm not giving away trade secrets. Sufficed to say, we've done it again, but with subtle changes. Such as… present tense! And… Cameron! Because we love his floofy hair and confused lil' face. Also, Out-Takes now comes with… ADDED ANGELS! AND DEMONS TOO! Because it was bugging us as to where they all were. Right now, our British-villain tea-drinking demons (Bobalphon, Asmodeus, Astaroth, Azazel, Belial and Mephistopheles, if you're bothered), and Deborah-who-works-in-the-grocery-store are the only things we own. But we're working on Left Behind. evil grin

**L-Syllabub:** Ah! runs around frantically we have _borrowed_ a handful of names here, because we know they won't mind (Oh Belial I am so very and truly sorry) …but I wonder if Jesus is going to be too chuffed with Jerry when they finally get together "Seriously, Jerr, did you need to make me go all Godzilla in the last book?"…'course all you sane people out there know this has no basis in reality at all. Apart from the shining glowiness that is Nicolae and Cameron's love. That's 100 percent fact baby. No doubt demons in the LBverse would be British. Preferably with white furry cats to stroke but I digress…Bobalphon is ALL ours (though I'm sure he'd disagree) and thusly we will sic him on any flamers who dare cross our path. Astaroth is also officially an LB character since he appears in the 12th book, or As_h_taroth, which is the same thing but with a speech impediment. Reviews would be nice, as we are currently facing a lawsuit from a real Deborah who works in a grocery store, for slander and libel. Everyone's a critic.

* * *

Cameron is on the way to the cinema with Chloe. Innocently, no-strings-attached, (they're going to watch _Finding Nemo_, for chrissakes) but judging by the look on Chloe's face it's tantamount to an engagement party. In the distance we hear a helicopter, and both of the pair look around in alarm. They know what choppers mean in this day and age. 

The noise of the chopper gets closer, and Chloe tugs at Cameron's arm, indicating that they should find somewhere to hide. Cameron, ever the daredevil, lifelong lover of danger, wildcard and general unpredictable ker-azy punk (yeah, sure) wants to see where it's headed, so he ignores her and stays in the middle of the street. He doesn't even move when the chopper swings over the street, and sets down in the middle.

"Cameron, we should really get out of here! That's Carpathia's helicopter!" Chloe whispers, tugging at Cameron's sleeve.

Again, Cameron ignores her. As the chopper's blades slow down we see a figure emerging from the dark interior of it, and Cameron's eyes widen as he sees it's Nicolae.

"Hi, Buck!" Nicolae smiles and waves enthusiastically, as though this is purely a chance meeting, and he hasn't just jumped out of a chopper. Predictably, he ignores Chloe.

"Uhm… hi."

"I was in the neighbourhood, and I wondered if you would like to maybe go out for ice-cream?" Nicolae asks, a bright and pleasant smile on his face. He doesn't seem to care about the look he's getting from Chloe. If looks could kill, Nicolae would have turned into a little puddle of glop on the floor about a minute ago. Cameron looks guiltily from Nicolae to Chloe and back again. A number of times. Then, his face breaks into the cute grin that we all know and love, and he blushes and lowers his eyes shyly.

"Yeah, sure, why not?" he chirps, and Chloe's expression sours so much that it could curdle milk.

"Why not? _Why not! _Cameron, you're on a date with _me!_" she squeaks, extremely indignantly.

"Oh… yeah… sorry about that." Cameron says, as though he's only just remembered. He gives her his little boy goofy grin, and with a shrug runs up to the chopper, which has just started again, takes Nicolae's proffered hand, and is pulled into the bird. It takes off, and Chloe is left alone in a cloud of dust.


	2. That's Chocolate IceCream

"You see, Buck, I am not evil. This is holy ice-cream from Jerusalem, and yet it does not harm me. Explain that." Nicolae says, absently waving a large spoonful of holy ice-cream around (don't even ask how he got it. It involved a litre of Russian vodka, a rusty medallion, five traumatized tourists and an old deck of Pokémon cards. Told you not to ask). To prove his point, he takes a big mouthful of ice-cream, and promptly chokes on it.

"You were saying?" Cameron asks, his eyes all round and innocent-like.

"Oh… I am allergic to lemon." Nicolae explains, slightly embarrassed. Those Pokémon cards were _valuable_!

There's a short pause, for comedic effect.

"That's chocolate ice-cream." Cameron points out, in a really slow and not quite fully comprehending way.

"It says right here, may contain traces of lemon." Nicolae waves the ice-cream tub in Cameron's face, too fast for him to see.

"Where? I didn't see!"

"Trust me, it is there." Nicolae nods, and Cameron, after the trademark confused frown, beams at him.

"Okay." He says brightly, but then the frown is suddenly back. "Nicolae…"

Nicolae follows Cameron's gaze to the lemon in his glass.

"Oh."


	3. Date With The Antichrist

Cameron arrives back at the Steeles' house long after it gets dark. An oblivious grin on his face, he pushes open the front door and steps through.

"Hey Ray!" he calls. "You would not believe what just happened to me!"

Ray emerges from the kitchen with a face like a thundercloud. Cameron is too happy to even notice the warning signs of a very put out father - he probably wouldn't even if he was feeling normal. He's unobservant like that.

"Oh, I think I would." Ray growls darkly.

"Well, you see, I was walking down this street, right, and then this chopper comes along out of nowhere, and Carpathia's inside, right, and…" Cameron begins, leaning against the doorframe.

"I know all this, Cameron. Where do you think my daughter went when you left her standing in that street all on her own?" Ray interrupts him mid-flow.

"Uhm… shopping?" Cameron guesses.

"No, you brainless idiot! She came home, crying to me that her boyfriend had gone off on a date with the Antichrist!"

Cameron blushes bright pink, matching the fuchsias in the painting next to his head.

"Well, it wasn't _really_ a date… we only went for ice-cream and soda… and we talked for ages… do _you _think it was a date?"

"That's not the point, Cameron. The point is you left my daughter in the street when you were supposed to be on a date with _her_. I think you and I need to have a serious talk about how you're going to treat Chloe from now on…" Ray begins, and it sounds like this could go on for a while and a half. Cameron yawns.

"Can it wait, Ray? I've been out all day and I'm kinda tired."

Without waiting for confirmation, Cameron strides through into the living room, and, dumping his bag on the floor, immediately falls asleep on the couch, a happy smile on his face. Ray looks as though he is about to implode.


	4. Yea And Verily Glowing White Robes

Cameron arrives home after a long day of following leads, dodging GC-ers and… looking gormlessly around at things he doesn't quite understand. Like those metal things with wheels that whiz past every so often.

Anyway, there's a figure of Middle-Eastern appearance (with an odd sparkly blue aura that you don't often find on Israelis, nor anyone else for that matter) lying half-asleep on the couch.

"Argh! Who are you and what are you doing here!" Cameron demands, a little cross look on his face.

The figure jumps half out of his skin (literally) and to his feet

"Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting here for you?" he sighs in exasperation, running a hand over his forehead.

"One step closer buddy and I'll…" Cameron threatens, and although he doesn't look capable of much, you wait and see who's laughing when your picture appears in the _Global Weekly_, branding you a ruffian forevermore.

"Oh great. Don't tell me you don't recognise me!"

"Should I?"

"I'm Anis!" the figure introduces himself. Cameron is totally nonplussed, and stares uncomprehendingly at him.

"_The_ Anis? Anis the angel?" Anis elaborates, a little offended.

"Angel. Riiiight. Is that a new term for someone guilty of breaking and entering?" Cameron asks sarcastically.

"I didn't break or enter anything. I materialized!" Anis twirls around a bit and does the whole beams of light and choirs of angels sound bite stuff. Also there are wings, and a halo and yea and verily glowing white robes of something or other. "See. And I have come here with a very important mess-"

Cameron is totally unimpressed.

"Anis doesn't sound like an Angel's name."

"What?" He's caught Anis off-guard.

"Shouldn't it be something like, Anisael? Or iel? Or…ial?" Cameron waves his hands in the air.

"Oh right. Yeah. Of course. Just because Gabriel and Michael…"

"Wait. You know Michael! What, _The _Michael?" Cameron squeals.

"In a manner of speaking." Anis pouts.

"Did you know he actually talked to me the other day? Wow. You think you can get me his autograph?"

"….but…I mean…I'm…" Anis mumbles.

"He is so cool."

"Alright! Fine! We get it already! Since time blessed immemorial! It's not like I'm an almighty angel of the Lord, y'know, with this huge great wingspan and shining holiness and…and toga!"

"Ummm…" Cameron isn't at all sure what to say. If Anis really is an angel, then there might be some more glowy doomy wrath heading in his direction if he puts his foot in it again. Anis folds his arms.

"Forget it. You're not getting this message now. It was a pretty important message and everything. But I guess you can get _Michael_ to tell you."

"Hey, you really think he would?" Cameron asks brightly.

"Gah!" Anis disappears in a cloud of rather angry looking sparkly little sparkles.

"Cool. _The_ Michael, huh." Cameron muses.


	5. The Static Told Me I Shouldn't

Cameron is sitting at his computer, doing his important journalist-y work with a deep frown of concentration on his face. Wait… okay, so it's not important journalist-y work. He's playing Lemmings. Just as he's about to (finally) beat level 1 of the game, his mobile rings.

"Oh for G-" Cameron pauses, "goodness' sake."

He picks up the telephone, leaving the last of his Lemmings to overpopulate and overcrowd the cave and die.

"Cameron Williams…" he only just resists the urge to add 'ace journalist', "speaking."

"Hello again, Buck." Nicolae's velvety voice greets him.

Cameron is so shocked that he almost drops the phone.

"Oh… hi. Uhm… how are you?" he asks automatically

"I am feeling good, Buck. How are you?"

"I'm… fine, I guess."

"I just called to ask you if you wanted to…"

Suddenly, the phone line is invaded with static. Cameron frowns in disappointment, but then a voice starts speaking to him over the static. It's a very bored sounding voice, and it isn't Nicolae.

"Hi… Cameron, isn't it? It's Michael. _The_ Michael." (Insert short burst of angel song here.) "Look, I've got Anis whining down my ear about how you won't listen to him for some reason, so I'm having to use up my own credit to call you and give you this message. Okay, the message goes -ahem-" (Michael's voice becomes all big and boomy.) "Thou shalt not bloody start hanging around with Nicolae, because he is, you will remember, the Antichrist and the root of all evil in this world and all that." (His voice goes back to normal.) "End of message. Right. I gotta go. Anis is twittering again." He sighs. There is a small click, and the static is gone.

"…go out for dinner sometime." Nicolae's half of the conversation resumes, as though there hasn't been any interruption.

"Uhm… I don't know. The static told me I shouldn't."

"O-kay." Nicolae pulls the phone away from his ear, and mutters under his breath, "The static told me I should not?" Then, he continues his conversation with Cameron. "Are you sure? The static has been known to be wrong before."

"Really? But it said it was Michael. And he's all shiny and stuff."

"It was lying." Nicolae says flatly.

"Okay. How's Friday?" Cameron readily gives in

Fact: there are no Fridays in Left Behind anymore. It's forever Sunday morning for the Trib Forcers, and forever Saturday night for the GC-ers. But, with Nicolae's magic occult powers, anything is possible. He can _make_ Friday happen. Whoosh! And the day is there!


	6. Percy Sledge

It's an indiscriminate time of night, on no particularly specified day. (Wait! We're in Trib-Forcer territory, ergo it must be Sunday!) The front door bangs open and shut and can be heard from the living room where Chloe is sitting in one of her more unflattering dressing gowns (i.e., any of them) and looking like she's just smelled something really bad and bitten down on a lemon at the same time (i.e., how she looks 80 of the time anyway).

"Have fun with… _Carpathia_ then?" she calls dryly, as Cameron is the only person likely to be entering the house at this time of night. And sure enough…

Cameron enters looking very distressed. Shirt done up with buttons missing. Tie nowhere to be seen. Hair in even more of a state then usual. A bad omen, if ever there was one.

"Chloe. I have something very important to ask you." He says, breathlessly.

"What is it? You want to know if you can cancel on me for tomorrow night as well?" Chloe pouts idly. By now, she's realised the futility of her situation.

"No! Of Course not! I…umm…er…" Cameron stammers earnestly.

"Hmmm?" Chloe absently looks up, but not in time to see the fleeting grimace that crosses Cameron's face.

"I…I love you Chloe. I really do. I. Cameron Buck Williams. Love you. Chloe Steele. Yep."

Immediately, Chloe becomes all sparkly, bright eyed and totally oblivious to the sick as a dog look that Cameron's still wearing as his desktop wallpaper.

"Oh Buck! Really?" she swoons.

"Yes. That is the complete and utter truth. I love you like…like…erm, like a man should love a woman." Cameron says awkwardly.

Mysteriously, somewhere in the background, a Percy Sledge song begins to play.

"As is right! And proper! And holy! Oh. And we need to get married. Right away. Soon as possible. It's very important." Cameron continues, despite the music.

A phone is ringing somewhere in the background.

_When A Man Loves A Woman_ is also still going.

"You're asking me to marry you!" Chloe squeals like a fangirl. Well… she is one, really…

"Yes! Marry me Chloe. I want you to be my wife. And I want to…" he gags slightly,…hold you and kiss you and make bland missionary style love with you in the dark, with the purpose of having kids. And we need to start doing this. Now."

Much to everyone-apart-from-maybe-Chloe's relief, Rayford calls from the kitchen.

"Cameron. It's _him_ on the phone for you."

"Eek!" Cameron is successfully distracted. Ray walks in, phone in hand, and the journalist jumps back and runs behind the couch waving his hands wildly.

"Noooo! Keep it away! Keep it away! I'm not home, I've moved out of the state, out of the country, I'm _dead_!"

"Dad! Buck wants me to marry him!" Chloe beams at her daddy.

"That's great!" Ray grins back. "Take the phone Buck."

Cameron takes the phone…and then throws it out the window.

"I'm getting married to Chloe. That's the important thing people! Don't you understand that! I've known her for long enough now to know that she's the one for me. Definitely. It may seem totally irrational and irresponsible but I need to marry som-…Chloe. Need to marry Chloe. Because I love her. Have I said that already?" he rambles, but then stops, out of breath.

"Awwwwww." Chloe and Ray sigh in unison

"That sounds completely reasonable. I'll start making the preparations." Ray says briskly, then walks off.

_Phew! I thought no-one would ever marry her._


	7. 3 Minutes And 22AndAHalfSeconds

Cameron hasn't left the house in days. Every time someone tries to send him out for groceries or something trivial, he dives under the couch and refuses to come out until the door is closed, triple-locked, and all the blinds are drawn. He's also begun to get a recent phobia of being left in the house alone, and has been known over the past few days to cling to people's arms as they try to get out of the door. Luckily, Chloe comes to the rescue! She's now so totally besotted with Cameron that she can't let him out of her sight for more than three minutes and twenty-two-and-a-half seconds at a time. What a record.

Coincidentally, there are three _hours_ and twenty-two-and-a-half _minutes' _worth of voice messages on Cameron's mobile. And all from the same number. Here comes another one.

Nicolae is sitting in his office, calling Cameron for the umpteenth time in four days. The phone rings, and then it clicks onto the answer machine. Cameron changed his message last night, and Nicolae hasn't heard it yet. The recording of Cameron's voice rings out, peppy and enthusiastic.

"Hello, this is Cameron Williams. I can't get to the phone at the minute, probably because I'm out organising my _wedding_ with my new _fiancée_, Chloe Steele. Oh yes, folks, I'm getting _married_." Nicolae notices that Cameron's voice is slowly getting less and less peppy and enthusiastic. "You won't see me at all then, because I'll be stuck… in the house… with Chloe… for the rest of my life… forever… and… ever." There is a short pause, then Cameron continues briskly. "Yeah. Leave a message after the tone. I probably won't hear it but it's worth a try, isn't-"

The message clicks to a halt as Cameron actually picks up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello Buck."

"Umm… you're gonna have to make this quick. I have three minutes. Probably less."

"So… you are getting married."

"Oh yes. I asked Chloe to marry me a few days ago-" Cameron is peppy again.

"Ah, so that was where you went in such a hurry."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Cameron says, too quickly.

"Nice try, Buck."

Then, the life-saving sound, Chloe trilling, faintly, from downstairs: "Cameron! Cameron, darling, where are you?"

"I'll be down in a minute!" Cameron calls down to her, then begins furiously whispering to Nicolae. "You hear that, Carpathia? I'm under lock and key from now on, so stop calling me, stop leaving messages for me, just leave me alone! In two weeks I'll be a married man-"

"Two weeks? That sounds a little desperate." Nicolae remarks slyly. "What is the rush, Buck?"

Cameron blushes furiously and with a vicious click, hangs up.

* * *

Chapter8 coming soon to an archive near you! 


End file.
